When I started this blog, I mentally told myself that this ‘will not be a personal diary.’ My goal was to write about the experience of writing.
Yeah, well, I’m not far into it and I’m about to break even that little rule.
Back in the Old Country, they love the holidays a whole lot more than they do here. It is difficult, at times, because I have found myself becoming more and more wrapped up in the holiday ‘spirit’ as it were. To say that I’m surrounded by ‘Bah Humbugs’ would be putting it mildly.
Today, snow blanketed my city. When I awoke I was faced with a virginal expanse of whiteness that begged me to roll around and jump up and down on it. I resisted that urge… mostly, because I had a bus to catch. Sadly, though I waited for that bus for half an hour, when it finally came it was too full to stop and let anyone on.
Little was done at work today because our services were cut to practically nill. But I played my Christmas Tunes and tomorrow, we have Secret Santa for those who participated. Then I start looking towards the flight back to the Old Country after Christmas to see my family.
I’ve been listening to lots of Christmas music and as always around this time of year, I’ve been getting alternatively excited and maudlin. I find the emotional investment in the season to be quite tremendous, so much so that when the event itself is over, the release of that pent up emotion leaves me drained and depressed.
I suppose that it is much the way I feel about writing a story or any other creative endeavor really. I put so much energy into the event that when it ends, I have no where for that feeling to go. It leaves me empty and hollowed out, not knowing what to do with myself. I think I need to learn to be okay with that feeling, to accept it as it is, rather than try and avoid it like I do.
Well, I guess I made this about writing after all.
I just finished my short story today, 8.6K words, a lot more than I planned. I found myself feeling quite spent when I typed the last word. It was a happy sort of feeling, but exhausting at the same time. I realized the similarity in the feelings then, and wondered about the emotional investment angle.
We’ll see how I feel after Christmas, though since I’m flying, I think I won’t get the opportunity to dwell like I often do, so perhaps that will cut down on the maudlin past times. Here’s hoping anyway.
And while I’m at it, since I won’t have internet for awhile, I’ve been hunting down some holiday youtube clips that I particularly enjoy. I hope you do to.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays